 | Robert “The Newt” McLean
Robert McLean is a small bald chap who can moan the erse off Michelle McManus. If things are going our way and we’re whipping the opposition by a few, Robert’s moaning will subside slightly. His pet hate is not passing to him and not chasing back after losing the ball. Shouts of “moan tae f*ck!! Git back ya c*nt!!….F*ckin’ Lazy bastard!!! Are often herd on a Monday Night from The Newt.
Robert, however can play a bit. He chips in with his fair amount of goals and assists. But most of all is a source of great amusement to the rest of the Legends with his hair-brained sense of humour. |
 | Colin “Serie A” Williamson
Big Serie A, So called cause of his Italian style hand gesturing to referees during his career at Brightons. Normally, praying at the referee not to send him off after arriving about six minutes late in a challenge.
Col has defended with his life on Monday nights and also scored a few too. Not any legendary spats with Rab yet, but its early days. |
 | Duncan “Jables” MacRobbie
“Jableses, Jableses!” are words you hear from sharp shooter MacRobbie on a Monday night. But these are only “Words”, “No matter what they tell you.” But Fivez football is like a “Rollercoaster” and his goals could dry up. But when he’s on form, and the gaffer is picking the team he’s “Got a picture of you in his mind”.
Oh aye… Jables looks like Ronan Keating too. |
 | Chrissy “Emile” King
Emile’s seven year comeback is now complete after a string of nasty injuries. His wing wizardry has become a defining part of the Legends game. That along with no passing to Rab cause he wants to beat his man for the 14th time. Emile tells me bugging Rab is his favourite part of his game these days.
Emile… it’s our favourite part of your game too. |
 | Allan “Nando” Nixon
Nando is the last line of defence in the Legends team. He never told anyone he could play in the sticks and has been the surprise package this year. He says he’s always fancied playing in goals, and some of his football hero’s were keepers, players like, Pat Bonner, Ian Andrews and Carl Muggleton.
When asked the other week there if he was wearing tracky B’s in goals, he looked up in disgust and said “Ahm fi Brightons Ser!” |
 | David Pomphrey Martin
Notice no inverted comma’s round the word Pomphrey. It’s because that “is” his middle name.
Pomp has had his problems in the past with injury and parts of his body not working right which all the lads know and laugh about. However Pomp has put all that behind him. It fact for the legends he’s been a stand out, he’s right up for every game. With his probing passing and showing off a new asset to his game in his hard tackle.
The Legends wish him all the best getting into the Brightons Big team so we can come along and rip the pish. |
 | Neil “The Ginger Prince” Sinclair
Sinky has a few claims to fame which make him a legend. He scored the winner in 2nd Polmont’s under 14’s, BB Cup Final. He scored the winning goal in Tambo’s last ever game as a Brightons player. And finally he’s a got a really sound big brother.
Probably even sounder than Sinky himself, all the boys agree. |
 | Simon “Mincey Pie” Martin
Mincey Pie is the Gaffer. He picks the team as he sees best.
Toward the end of his career he toiled to get into the Brightons team due to his expanding waistline and his inability to hit a coo’s erse with a banjo. However he has found some form with the legends and netted 5 times in three games. Almost doubling his goal tally for the last 4 season’s with Brightons big team.
Anyway he gets a game now because he picks the team. |
 | Derek “Tambo” Thomson
Veteran Legend Tambo is the oldest in the squad by a clear 25 years. He is able to play on a Monday night now after jacking in presenting Scotsport. Tambo has yet to notch at either end so far which is unusual, but sitting in front of Nando at the back he is our rock in the defence, only not a fast as a rock, but slightly faster than Serie A.
Also, apparently when Tambo Tamson is having a party, you’ve to bring your Vodka and Bacardi. (Or Bicairdi Nando) |
 | Mikey 'Regis' McMeechan Gaffer's profile to follow |
 | Steff “Ten Boab” Martin
Steff Martin is a finisher first and foremost. He’ll finish pie’s, cakes, and burgers. He also likes playing for the Legends when he’s not drilling for oil in the North Sea.
With 138 Junior goals in his career he’s a proven goal scorer. He’s netted a hat-trick already this season. However he is a common factor in the legends two losses this year. Steff has been seen to pull his Y-fronts up to his armpits in the changing room. Not good for team moral!! |