Scorers -
Newt 4
Gordy 4
Pomp 2
Emile 2
Nando's Bar MOM - Rab McLean
DOTW - Chillers forward for being duped by big Col into assuming he wis a big lump ay wid
QOTW - Newt to Serie A in the changing rooms efter the game 'yuv hud enough in they sticks pal eh? ye went doon like an MFI wardrobe for some ay thon efforts the night'
16/07/07 Legends 8 - 8 Hatchets Five
Brightons fought out a true roller coaster of a match versus Hatchets 5 that ended in honours even. The Legends could only manage 5 bodies and that included Keith "Newts" Newton coming in to make his Legends debut.
The Legends started slowly and Hatchets moved into a two goal lead. However as the Legends got settled into their stride and pulled a goal back through a young man called Boaberting Ton-Tee The Newt. It was so dope let me tell ye. We then equalised and from there decided to turn into Holland of the 70s and play the best fitba I have ever been part of at the Fivez. Indeed as we started wallopin the goals in from aw-where I found myself rapping away to maself "Pass and move, its the Brightons groove!! UH-HUH!! FUNK IT!! YEAH! UH-HUH!!!". as we had a 10 minute period of untouchability. I often rap to myself. I find it to be phat. Anyway, half time it was 6-2. How could we feck it up from there readers? Well read on! Nothing is beyond the 5 fat / bald / feeble (delete as applicable) when it comes to self implosion!
Firstly, the hatchets brought on a sub who was extremely keen on running and pressing the ball. Not good. After previously running about like wee linties, belieng our years there were a few broken men on display come the start of the second period. Indeed Emile looked just like his picture on the website only more distressed and with added drool. Pomp wiznae too bad, ah wiz utterly Freddie Kanouted and Elts wiz, frankly, very rid and lacking in too much mobility. Due to us being "poked" we sold 4 impressively early goals to get things back to 6-6.
We then found the ability to run a wee bit and after goals from Elts and Pomp we were 8-6 up. At this point we tried to put up the defensive shutters. However between the four of us there is very little in the way of defensive (arguably any but definitely defensive) ability. The Hatchets got it back to 8-7 and with seconds remaining one of them hit a wonder strike from miles oot right into the bottom corner. To be honest due to our physical limitations he had been about as vigorously pressed as the brightons shirt and tie i used to wear on a saturday but what can ye dae? We were Samurai Pizza Catted the loat ay us.
As we left the park I told Emile that he had lost us the game and indeed ruined Christmas 07 already with his biff like ways. His response was to loll his head and drool in a tetchy fashion as he stumbled aff the park. Some lad.
Scorers -
Newt 2
Pomp 3
Emile 1
Keith 2
Nando's Bar MOM - Davie Martin
09/07/07 Legends 7 - 5 HCM
Interim Gaffer Steph "Steef" Martin proved the old adage that you don't have to be popular to be successful by grinding out a stunning debut victory over closest rivals HCM.
Once again The Leegends squad was stretched to it's limits with The Prince reverting tae goalkeeping duties and Doom featuring as the unwanted eighth man. The game got off tae the worst possible start as HCM scored with a wicked strike straight from kick-off. The Leegends refused to let heads drop though, and a tight opening 15 minutes finished with the sides locked at 2-2. Rab and Pomph done the damage in front of goal, but Doom continued to feature as the Leegends most prominent player.
The NST was determined not to let his gaffer bro down though, and the second half couldn't have been any more different. Leegends grabbed the game by the scruff of the neck and stormed in to a 5-3 lead, with Pomphrey cooly finishing off a well worked move, Emile despatching a cheeky quick free kick with aplomb and big Mikey despatching and exocet in to the top corner like only he can. Rennie and NST added some fresh legs to keep the pressure on, and at the other end Keeper Prince managed to fend off what little resistance HCM could offer, using a variety of random body parts in the process.
The game wasn't over yet though, and slack defending allowed HMT to claw the scoreline back to 5-5, sparking a "heated debate" between the Interim Gaffer and Boaby T. While this was a real shock coming from two such unassuming and verbally sound characters, it did prove that the pressure of Premier League football knows no bounds, and that Leegends dinnae go down without a fight...wi each other.
Either way, it had the desired effect, and big Mikey showed there's more to his game than Hot-Shot Hamish impressions with a beautifully placed side-footer in to the bottom corner, before Pomph cooly finished for a well deserved hat-trick to put the game out of sight.
A hard-earned victory for the Legends keeps the title dream alive, and Interim Gaffer can safely hand the reigns back to MP on his return from Jamaica, home of violent crime.
Well done boays - Thumpity McThump!!!
Scorers:
Pomp - 3
Mikey - 2
Newt - 1
Emile - 1
Nando's Bar MOM - Davie Martin
02/07/07 Legends 8 - 6 Real Part-Timers
Brightons Legends closed the gap on Real Deal at the top of the Premier Fivez League to two points after a hard earned victory on the back of a Stag weekend to Aberdeen.
Given the majority of the team had been up at Meaty Penman's Stag doo, there was a few of the Legends who's Thump Thump!! had fallen by the wayside. Jamie "Jade" McKenzie and Stevie "Stand Fast" Grant who themselves were just back from Shagaluf stepped up to the plate and "Uriah" Rennie of Kung foo fighting fame stepped in to help out.
Along with Boaby T, Mincey Pie, Wee Man, North Sea Tiger and The Prince the Legends had a man too many. Mincey Pie as Manager agreed to step aside and let the rest of the Legends get on with it. However The Prince and Steff then argued that both of them wanted to be dropped as they were as rough as a Badgers Bahookie. A toss up then prevailed which to his delight Steff won. So The Prince took the field with rest of the Legends in the Sticks - minus trackie b's by the way ser!!.
The Legends struggled badly from the start and went two goals down early on, it could have been worse as the Part-Timers rattled the woodwork twice - 'Save Hands' Sinky did tip the second effort onto the bar. Boab T pulled goal back before Jade then produced a few Ronaldo step overs and placed a beauty into the bottom corner with the keeper rooted to the spot. Sinky kept the Legends level with another couple of fine saves but couldn't prevent the Part-Timers going in 1 up just before break as he was again left exposed at the back.
At the turn around the sound of velcro was heard and thinking Sinky was taking the gloves off to hand over to someone else, the outfield Legends took cover. Not to worry though as the Ginger one was enjoying himself so much he was merely tightening the gloves for the 2nd half!! The Legends drew level again after the re-start with another excellent strike from Boab T who seemed to have slapped the Mad Doom about the chops with his performance. Although again the Part-Timer frustratingly pulled away with another two goals to go 5-3 in front. At this point the game went through a rough patch with some tough tackling going in. Wee Man lost it with the Ref after being persistently fouled and the ref refusing to give the free kick. I believe Wee Man told the official to "Fcuk off " at one point and was reprimanded for his potty mouth. The Part-Timers scored again but the Legends finally got into gear and Jade netted his second of the night then Stevie G pulled the legends back into it with a fine right footed strike.
Boab T claimed his Hat-Trick with another sensational strike from the left. It was now all square with five to go, as Jade slipped in Stevie G who toe-poked the ball in to give the Legends the lead for the first time. Boaby T then rounded of a good nights work with some tricky foot work to give The Legends their eighth and final goal of the night which was enough to claim the 2 points.
An excellent result given the physical and mental health of the players after a heavy weekend on sauce. With Real Deal loosing it brings The Legends right into it with half the season still to go.
Scorers:
Rab McLean 4
Jamie McKenzie 2
Stevie Grant 2
Nando's Bar Man of the Match: Rab McLean & Neil Sinclair
25/06/07 Legends 3 - 6 Real Deal
Brightons lost out to league leaders Real Deal last night and fell 4 points behind in the title chase in the progress. With a few normal Legends missing Scully and Bagpuss Sime were promoted to the squad from the wee team.
The Legends started brightly and controlled the opening spell and took the lead when Jables McRobbie ran onto a Rab McLean ball down the left channel. The defender thought he had him trapped but Jables thought otherwise and played a lovely 1-2 with the back wall before drilling past the keeper for the opener.
Guest goalie Tony 'Bagpuss' Sime who hadn't had a touch in the opening 5 minutes then made a great save low down to his right to maintain the lead. Having 2 subs kind of back fired on the Legends with the change overs affecting their rhythm and Real Deal gradually coming into the game. The referee further upset the Legends when he let a stonewall penalty offence go unpunished when the same player received then passed back to the goalie. He further infuriated the Legends when a suspicious high ball wasn't called and Real Deal fired in an equaliser. It got even worse for the Legends as they gave Real Deal far to much time and space to concede another 2 sloppy goals and went in 3-1 down at the break.
The Legends started chasing the game and created numerous chances but the Real Deal keeper was having a blinder whereas at the other end Real Deal took advantage of the gaps left by the Legends and another 2 clinical finishes increased their lead to 5-1. The Legends fought back and wee Rab smashed in a right footer which was quickly followed by a fine finish into the top corner from Pomphrey to reduce the gap to 2. A few more chances came and went and Real Deal took the sting out of the game by running down the clock and it was them who hit a late goal to end the comeback.
No complaints from the Legends as the better team won in the end, a free week certainly didn't do the Legends any favours last week in terms of match sharpness and perhaps Gaffer Mince may need to review the 2 sub option as this seemed to hinder rather than help the Legends on this occasion.
Who'd be a manager eh?
Scorers:
Jables MacRobbie 1
Rab McLean 1
Pomphrey Martin 1
Nando's Bar MotM: Na cant!!
11/06/07 Legends 9 - 5 Broxi Bears
Gaffer Mince was hit with late call offs before the game last night but he still managed to field a team to do the business against the Broxi Bears.
Nando and Tambo couldn't make it so Brightons Wee team player Scully stepped into the squad to good effect.
With no recognised Keeper Gaffer Mince went with the rotation tactic and Big Mikey took the gloves first – Nae trackie b’s required fur the goalies last night by the way Serie A!! The Legends got off to a flyer with ‘Football All The Way’ and a cracking strike from Jables followed by two excellent finishes by Boaby McLean had them cruising. With Mikey, Scully and then Mince all keeping a clean sheet big Mikey popped up at the other end and added a fourth to make it 4-0 at the break.
Jables took the gloves after the break and dived about like spider-man, letting two past in the process. Gordy then to the gloves to save the Jableator any more embarrassment and the legends went on the attack again. Big Mikey put the Legends 3 up with a strike which nearly burst the ball, before Boab T grabbed his hat-trick then fourth. Boab T then took the gloves and the players in front did him no service as he lost 3 to make it 8-5. However last minute stand in Scully secured the points with a cracking drive into the to right hand corner to wrap up a good nights work for the Legends.
Spaces Available have changed their name to Points Match 2..... so free week next week. A good start to the season so far, long may it continue.
As gaffer Mince is off to Jamaica for his hols on the 6th of July he will pick the next squad for the top of the table clash with Real Deal on 25th June then hand control over to Wee Man who will become Caretaker Gaffer Wee Man till Mince returns.
I hope you will all show him the same respect you have given to past Gaffers, Waldo, Tambo, Gareth and Mince.............. ;-)
Quote of the Night
Mince: "So when's the Missus due to drop then Jables"
Jables: " Feck knows!! Should be next week some time"
Newt: " Just get a big curry doon her then gie her wan up the pipe"
Mikey: " Aye Duncy, I might no work, but a least you'll enjoy yersel"
Class!!!!!
Scorers:
Rab McLean 4
Jables MacRobbie 2
Mikey McMeechan 2
John Scullion 1
Nando's Bar MotM: Boab T
4/06/07 Legends 5 - 7 Gauze Roadstar
The Legends felt the stinging pain of Premier Division defeat for the first time the season as they went down against a very handy Gauze Roadstar team.
The Legends got off to the worst possible start when Mincey Pie was dispossessed straight from kick off and the Gauze player buried the ball to Serie A's left. Jables soon levelled things up with a fine finish. However things went t1ts up after this and the Legends found themselves 5-1 down at half time.
In true Legends manner, the Tons came out fighting in the second half with Boab T netting early on to make it 5-2. This gave the Legends a lift and it was soon 5-3 as The Ginger Prince netted his 4th of the season with a deflected drive which came of the post and in. As the Legends had done to their detriment all game, they pushed forward leaving holes at the back so it wasn't long till Gauze made it 6-3. Boab T came back with another sclaffed effort which found it's way into the bottom corner to bring it back to a two goal deficit. Then there was high controversy as Serie A saved from the Gauze attacker but the ball rolled goal ward. However Serie appeared to get back in time and scoop it off the line, but the ref claimed from where he was standing at the halfway line that it was clearly in.
The legends wasted no time though as Serie A threw the ball to Jables who finished first time with a fine left footed strike. The Legends pressed all the way to the final whistle dominating the second half but it was a case of too little, too late.
Gaffer Mince never had too much to complain about as Gauze were actually a decent outfit who probably deserved the win on their first half display. However the second half belonged to the Legends as they showed the fighting spirit required in this league.
Congratulations to Gordy Forbes who picked up the Player of the Season award for last term. Rab "The Newt" McLean presented the award Butt Naked.
Also a quick word for the Baldy Legend Waldo who has been under the weather recently. Glad to say he's back to work and will no doubt be cracking rubbish jokes on the sideline next season. ADB Waldo.
Scorers:
Jables MacRobbie 2
Rab McLean 2
Neil Sinclair 1
Nando's Bar MotM: Jables.
28/05/07 Legends 5 - 0 WATP Utd
5 nil walkover for the Legends puts them top of the league.
21/05/07 Legends 9 - 2 Bantaskine
The Legends maintained their 100% record in the Premier League by thump thumping last seasons Division 1 winners.
With a strong 7 man squad the Legends started confident of a win. After some early cagey exchanges in was Jables MacRobbie who grabbed the opener in comedy style. The ball broke to him on the halfway line as Bantaskine were caught up the park. He had a free run at goal with just the keeper to beat. We all thought, will he put it left or right? What the Jableator did do was "Sclaff" the ball straight at the keeper, which came back off him and hit Jables on the shins and trundled inside the post for the opener. It was soon two as Gordy Forbes collected the ball on the left and fired off and early shot which the keeper could only help into the bottom corner.
Then the goal of the game came. Sinky collected the ball on the left, cut inside his man, and not too unlike Gers Ginger Legend Albertz, Sinky rasped a right footed drive into the top corner. He actually fell over in disbelief after it hit the back of the net. Jables then claimed his brace with a well taken right footed drive from distance to put the Legends 4 up. Bantaskine hit back just before half-time with a PK, Serie A was doing a sterling job keeping Bantaskine out, diving at their feet. He was harshly judged to put his foot out the box trying to block a shot which resulted in the converted penalty.
The second half started with Bantaskine pulling another one back, but it was to be their last of the night as the Legends hit 5 and the woodwork 3 times. Pomp stepped up to make it 5-2 with a well taken strike. Then Jables finished in style after taking on about three of their players to grab his hat-trick. Jables then claimed his 4th after some fine football involving Pomp, Mince and a Gordy cut back. Jabes again added a 5th towards the end, but the night was to finish as it started with Ginger Prince showing he's a quick learner by copying Jables first goal (read above). Jables later said about his first goal "Ye just canny teach that". Well it just goes to show you can. Sinky obviously benefited from his Chicken soup dinner rather than his "Late tea" of Steak Pie.
So a 9-2 victory for The Legends and joint top of the League. No complaints from Gaffer Mince.
Can we hear Champagne corks popping?
Next week the Wee team has a game so The Legends will welcome back Mikey, Rab and there's a return for the North Sea Tiger (GGRRRRR) or (Miaow). Nando will also be welcomed back in the next couple of weeks.
Thump Thump!!!
Scorers:
Jables 5
Sinky 2
Pomp 1
Gordy 1
Nando's Bar MotM: Jables
14/05/07 Legends 8 - 6 Hatchets Five
Brightons Legends took the step up in class in their stride as they took their first scalp of the season in the Fivez Premier Division.
The Legends went with a squad of six as Gaffer Mince toiled to put a team together. In true Legendary manner Pomp (eventually) pulled on the strip despite a niggling injury to help out. Gaffer Mince was to later fine him for being 10 minutes late!! The Legends started off bright and were stroking the ball about well with Hatchets chasing shadows in the early stages. Big Mikey won the ball just outside the Hatchets box and smashed the ball home for the opener and soon after Mikey again won the ball just outside his own box and slipped Mince in who finished well. Two up and cruising with still only 5 players at this stage but if you thought it was going to be a case of 'how many' then that was quickly put to bed.
Hatchets amazingly hit back with a quick fire treble to go 3-2 up, Big Serie A (still sporting the trackie b's by the way Nando) was disappointed to see the 1st trickle in after he got a hand to it but could do nothing about the other 2 as Hatchets were given far to much time and space to bury shots in the corner. The Legends hit back though and the arrival of Pomphrey allowed fresh legs to be used and Gordy found the Gaffer in space and Mincey put things all square at half time with a dinked finish in the bottom corner.
The second half start well for the Legends with Big Mikey hammering home to make it 4-3, all he needed was some of Sinky's ginger hair and the way the big man's left peg was working he could have been mistaken for Jorge Albertz. To their credit Hatchets came back right away to equalise but Big Mikey was on fire though and again smashed an unstoppable shot to put the Legends 5-4 up and claim his hat-trick. The Ginger Prince then put the Legends 2 up with a cool finish from the right channel after being slipped in by Gordy. Big Serie A made some fine stops to keep the lead in tact but yet again Hatchets stayed in touch and scored another 2 to tie the game up at 6 a piece.
With only a few minutes remaining the next goal was crucial and it was fitting that Man of the Match Mikey put the Legends in front with yet another blistering strike with the left peg. The Legends finally used the nut and some quick through outs from Serie A were played back to Gordy in a deep position then back to Serie A again to run down the clock. This seemed to annoy the Hatchets and a few meaty challenges were being made with Pomp and Gordy the victims but they kept their cool and after drawing in the Hatchets a quick throw from Serie A to Mikey allowed him to square for Pomp to side foot into the top corner to seal the victory.
Even though the scoreline was tight, the Legends looked in control throughout the match and didn't look out of place in the big league. An enjoyable game for the lads who all performed well. It would appear that "Football all the way" may work in the premier better than it did in the Diddy league.
After the game the Legends were presented with High Quality silver resin trophies (team picture to follow) for last seasons efforts. Hopefully they will be gold at the end of this season.
Well Done lads.
Scorers:
Big Mikey 4
Mincey Pie 2
The Prince 1
Pomp 1
Nando's Bar Man of the Match - Big Mikey
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