Brightons Legends Stats - Season 1

 

 

 27/11/06 - Brightons Legends 6 - 9 Real Partimers

Match Report by Pomp!

Brightons Legends were unfortunate to lose for the second game on the trot in an end of season affair on Monday. The Legends made the already promoted Real Partimers look just that as they raced into a 2 goal lead through strikes from Mclean & King and completely outplayed their apparently more illustrious opponents in the opening stages. In fact the legends had the Brazillian shirted Real looking more like the Yellow Cowdenbeath and it was surprising that the score was level at two apiece
when the half time whistle blew.

 

However, 'Tons niavety, lack of defensively minded players and even more obvious lack of fitness began to take its toll in the second half and the Legends began to leak goalsthrough a combination of poor defending and bad luck and quickly foundthemselves 4 behind. A spirited comeback thanks to a hattrick from theubiquitious Steff Martin and a sixth goal from D. Invisible (on loanfrom Spaces Available) were to no avail as the Partimers kept theirnoses in front to hang on for a scoreline which flattered the promoted side.

 

Brightons last game of a campaign, doomed before they even kicked a ballthanks to the bottom spot they inherited is against Flygt who lookdestined to finish at the foot of the table. Hopefully a morale boostingwin will give them confidence for the next campaign and Gaffer MinceyPie must be confident that the Legends can challenge for promotionprovided they learn from the handful of games played this season, continue to employ their 'football all the way' policy but be more streetwise with it.................and limit Steff's appearances!

Final Score - Brightons Legends 6 - 9 Real Partimers

Scorers -

Martin 3

McLean 1

King 1

Invisible 1

 Nando's Bar MOM - to be decided by a secret ballot

20/11/06 - Brightons Legends 7 - 8 Teddy Bairns

Match Report by Brian Martin (who wisny even there)!

Legends lost out by the odd goal in 15 in what turned out to be a poisonous clash with the Teddy Bairns, who brought shame on the Fivez competition with a repugnant mix of fouling, cheating, whinging and lack of sportsmanship. Gaffer Sy (Mincey Pie) Martin's selection policy of 'football all the way' looked good on paper but with Chrissy 'Emile' King still on USA time following his recent trial with Boston Celtics chearleader squad and an unusually subdued performance from Rab 'Newt'
McLean, the Legends were bullied in the first half.

A tight opening 5 minutes set the tone for the night, with Legends superior play broken up by a number of fouls, and both keepers stopping everything that came their way . The Teddy W@nks, I mean Bairns seemed to single out McLean for the roughest treatment (no doubt as some of them must have met him socially previously) and when a foul on the 'Newt' went unpunished, the opener finally came unfortunately at the wrong end. Brightons lost a further goal due to a bad substitution
instigated by former coach 'Tambo' Thomson who was not missed by wee Rab in the interogation and as they chased the game found themselves 3 down at the break.

Legends fought as Legends should and a spirited comeback aided by a red-hot Davie Martin soon brought the score back to 3-3 early in second half. Unfortunately with all the energy spent, and the Teddy Bairns policy of two roll on-off subs taking it's toll, the Legends slipped behind again when the otherwise oustanding Nando lost his footing and a long range effort sneaked in. Then the God of football shat on the Legendz further with a sclaffed shot ending up in the back of the net that was intended to go the other way.

 

The Legends never gave up though and 'Pomphrey', clearly inspired by recent 'coaching' from absent 'finisher' Steff Martin, did not deserve to be on the losing side, scoring 5 and setting up the other 2 so can hold his head up (if nothing else). However, the score remained agonisingly one goal out of reach
despite strikes from Sinclair and McLean while King and Thomson dished out suitable retribution at the back to the ever niggly opposition strikers.

As the ref handed out final warnings to two Teddy Bairns players, the refusal of the biggest offender to shake Tambo's hand at the end summed up a dreadful night for the Legends, and the Fivez competition as whole.

Another disappointing result and it is fair to say the return fixture is already in the diary for the Legends involved last night..

Final Score - Brightons Legends 7-8 Teddy Bairns
Scorers -

Pomphrey 5

McLean 1

Sinclair 1

 Nando's Bar MOM - Davie (Obefini) Martin

 

13/11/06 - Brightons Legends 6 v 4 Boness Boys

The Legends got back on track last night with an easier victory than the scoreline suggests. With Steff Martin sent back offshore to think again and other squad members unavailable due to work, holidays and kidding on they could still cut it with the Saturday squad, the Legends were down to the bare bones of their squad. Friend of the club and Brightons local Derek Morrison was drafted in to make up the required 6 bodies.

The Legends were 4-0 up in under ten minutes giving the Bonessians a footballing tutorial. rAbert "Gollum" McLean was causing particular havoc in tandem with Duncan "crie ays Jables" Macrobbie who was finishing his opportunities with typical half-bald blonde aplomb. Sinc and Williamson were struttin aboot daein a solid job and Del Morrison wiz standin rub-a-dub wi that jaicket ay Boab T's oan that looks like eeze Mams'.

However 10 mins into the match fitness became an issue. Morrison and Williamsons' obsessive love of the hot burger was taking its toll and McLean (having started quicker than Bobo wid be disqualified in a No Swearing Competition) was "blawin oot eeze er$e". This left The International Prince Of Tizer Hair Styling and El Jables to try and carry the fight on their own. As is the norm, now that we needed him Nando kept us in it with a series of brave and brilliant saves. We did concede a few goals though and it ended up 5-3 at half time. This reporter is too concerned in playing the game and shouting junk at his team mates (sorry Sinc. i agree with your comments. unfortunately after all these years i am indeed "still a f@nny"). Therefore the times and types of goals slip my swiss cheese mind as does when Nandos saves were but he had a few belters.

Second half we were all completely Aylesbury Ducked trying to run about but Sinc, Del and Serie A managed to score a goal each at some point during the game. I never as I was having code red respirational problems in the winters night air and there is also the small issue that I couldn't hit a cow's jacksie with a cricket bat. Again I don't remember exact times but we all missed numerous and many one on ones. They also had a squad of about 19 players so they were fresher than daisies comin on and off whilst we were somewhat battered by the elements and the onset of old age by the time we staggered aff the park. Goosed yet Victorious. I quite like the sound of that. "GOOSED YET VICTORIOUS" Could that be our Legends motto? Suppose we would need to stop getting beat 18-2 and things like that for it to work but I shall leave it to Monsieur Succulent Minceington Pie to decide.

Thats enough of this nonsense anyway. Aken its pretty rubbish but I cant mind details and am awfy busy.

Scorers -

Macrobbie 3

Williamson 1

Morrison 1

Sinclair 1

 Nando's Bar MOM - Duncan Macrobbie

30/10/06 - Brightons Legends 10 New Firm 3

Brightons Legends fine form continued and their winning streak was stretched to 3 games with a crushing 10-3 defeat of 4th placed New Firm.

With rumours flying that gaffer Mincey Pie was away his holidays with Valdas Ivanauskas, 'spaces available' on his flight apparently, it was left to kitman Emile to suit and boot the legends, lining up with the ever reliable Nando in the sticks, Tambo, Pomphrey, Emile and debutants, Jables, and Neil 'Sincy' Sinclair

Tambo, given his choice of defensive partners, selected Sincy, who couldny decide whether to be pleased, or miffed, claiming that this was the first time Tambo had ever selected him in a brightons jersey. Tambo's faith was soon justified with Sincy cooly despatching the opener after a tidy lay-off from Pomphrey. Fellow debutant Jables opened his account soon after, clinically finishing off a lay-off from Sincy. The bit between their teeth, the Legends then raced into a 4-0 lead with another from Jables, and a clever finish from Pomphrey.

At this stage, New Firm's superior fitness began to tell and after a string of good saves from Nando, and some solid defending from Tambo, the pressure finally told and New Firm pulled one back to make the score 4-1 at the interval.

A 20 second breather seemed to work wonders and Emile extended the legends advantage after being put through by Jables, who then duly completed his hat-trick with yet another cool finish after good work from Sincy. Pomphrey extended Brightons advantage further, before New Firm pulled another back. Emile then completed his hat-trick, collecting a keeper's error and then finishing off a superb through-ball from Pomphrey.

It was now looking as if Rav's request to have Pomphrey's performance described as outstanding was in danger of being realised, but there was time left yet, then he chased back the length of the pitch, and made a timely crunching tackle, enough said.

After New Firm pulled another back, Jables completed the scoring for the legends, to take take his tally for the night to 4, and make absent gaffer Mince a proud man, wherever he may be.

The next game can't come quickly enough for the legends,

Team: Nando, Sincy, Tambo, Pomphrey, Jables, Emile

Scorers:
Jables - 4
Emile - 3
Pomphrey - 2
Sincy - 1 

 Nando's Bar Man of the Match: Pomphrey

16/10/06 - Brightons Legends 7 Real McCoys 4

For the second week running The Opposition used the phrase "Chasing Shadows" after the match, and that's exactly what they did as The Legends won at a canter at Bo'ness last night. With The Newt coming in for Tambo it was a more attacking side put out by Gaffer Mince than last week.

From the off the legends passed the ball around with ease as the McCoys ran about like heidless chickens in a vain attempt to gain possession. It was no surprise when Pomphrey glided passed three players and slotted home to give The Legends the lead. Emile then set up The Newt with and easy tap in after a piece of individual brilliance on the right wing. Soon after Boab T Newt grabbed his second after Pomp squared the ball from the left. At 3-0 the McCoys pulled one back when a speculative shot hit Boab's hand and deflected passed Nando. However the three goal lead was restored after some excellent one touch football lead to Mincey pie's Sclaffed finish. Hey.... they all count!!

After the break The McCoys scored a decent goal from the right but again the Legends responded. Pomp found Mince on the left who found the bottom right corner with a first time finish. The McCoys came close after a mix up between Mince and Emile gifted them the ball. The Newt lost the heid stating "Do you's c*nts ken each other???? Gie him a shout!!!" Emile clearly brushed off The Newt's radgeness to finish the McCoys off with two excellent finishes to claim his brace.

The Legends started showboating a bit after this knowing the game was won, and started to get caught. At one point a shout was heard from a legends player saying “We’re all over the shop back here... git big Williamson back on!" A shout which was never heard that often in Serie A's career. He did come back on and the tons lost a further two goals.

So 7-4 final result. A more convincing Victory than the result showed. McLean said after the game. "We could a won by a hatful there but we started fannying about too much". Never a truer word spoken with such elegance.

Scorers -  

McLean 2

S.Martin 2
King 2
P.Martin 1

 Nando's Bar Man of the match: Emile

 

9/10/06 - Brightons Legends 9 Phat Boys 2

The Legends finally arrived on the Fivez league last night with an emphatic 9-2 victory against fellow Brightonians Phat Boys. The Legends started with Nando twix the stix, Tambo, Big Col, Emile and Pomphrey Martin with the gaffer Mincy Pie on the Bench. Yet again The Tons were caught cold at the start and went 1-0 down after a couple of minutes.

However the lead didn't last long. Mincey Pie came on to good effect when he linked with Big "Serie A" Williamson who put Pomphrey through to equalise. The two Martins then combined again with Pomphrey the supplier and Mince with the finish. Serie A made it 3 with a low deflected drive
soon after and The Legends were in control.

Phat boys were chasing shadows now and couldn't get near the legends as they stroked the ball about. Pomp then made it 4-1 with a neat finish before The Phat Boys scored their final goal of the game to make it 4-2 just after the break.

This was mostly down to Nando's brilliance in goal he pulled off 5 or 6 world class saves that Tony Sime would have be proud of. Including a balletic arch dive which he tipped the ball onto the bar. With Tambo in front of Nando the legends shut up shop and went on a goal frenzy in the last 10 minutes. Mincey Pie got his brace with a cool volley, following that Serie A got his brace too. Debutant and Birthday boy Emile scored a classy individual goal before Pomphrey finished them off claiming his Hat-trick then a fourth.

Great performance all round, now the rest of the league with sit up and take notice of the Legends arrival.

Team: Mincey Pie, Pomphey, Serie A, Emile, Nando, Tambo.

Scorers -

Mincey Pie 2
Serie A 2
Emile 1
Pomphrey 4

 Nando's Bar Man of the Match: Nando.

 

Brightons Legends 3 Bo'Ness Boys 5

Brightons Legends made their debut in the Bo'ness Division 1 Fivez league last night against Bo'ness Boys.

The Legends were up against it before a ball was kicked with several lads from the squad calling off due to injury and work commitments. Ringer Rick Reilley stepped in to help out The Tons.

With a distinct lack of defenders Legends went with Allan 'Nando' Nixon twix the stix with Steff 'Ten Boab' Martin, Rab 'The Newt' Mclean and Sy 'Mincey Pie' Martin along with Reilley.

Straight away Legends were caught cold giving Bo'ness a goal of a start. Five minutes in Rab McLean levelled with a low left footed strike. Again a couple of minutes later Brightons lack of defenders caused them to go 2-1 down. However the Tons rolled back the years with some cracking football with Sy Martin laying the ball off for Rab Mclean to claim his second of the night. Bon'ess added to their tally just before half time to make 3-2 at half time.

The Tons were again caught flat and the start of the second half going 4-2 down. Not for long though when Mclean found Mincey Pie on the right wing and he made no mistake with a first time near post finish. Steff Martin then thought he'd equalised with a great strike into the top corner which came back off the net stanchion. The ref though ruled it to have hit the post, much to The Newt's distress who remonstrated with the ref " Moan tae f*ck brother, that wiz clearly in the top bin". But his claims were to no avail. The Legends pushed for an equaliser and Nando could only keep Bo'ness out for so long after a string of great saves. With no defenders Bon'ess managed to beat Nando one more time before the ref blew for full time.

A 5-3 loss on the first game but with a bigger squad to choose from next week Manager Sy Martin is confident our first win isn't far away.

Brightons Legends new strip will be on show next week also.

 Nando's Bar Man of the Match : Rab McLean